"Is My love enough for you?"

I think I'm finally getting it. Sometimes the most simple truths take forever to sink in for the precise reason that they are.....simple, not complicated.

I thought I had settled this issue years ago, but over time I keep revisiting it. It can be a big one for any person who desires to follow Jesus as closely as possible.

A few years ago I was living with my best friend for a couple of months during a transition. I had just left a very uncomfortable situation living with an alcoholic roommate, and I as well left a corporate job that was suffocating me. There was a lot of change going on at once. I actually felt I was being directed quite strongly by God to leave this position, so I finally jumped ship. The conviction was that strong. Although I believe God gives us a lot of freedom to make our own choices and that He doesn't micromanage everything we do, this was something He seemed to be putting his finger on quite strongly. I had to follow through.

I actually didn't work for about a month, so I spent this time pondering the future and where I was going. As I also waited for an apartment to open up in the same building as my friend, I had some free time to think about a lot of things. I sat down one afternoon and wrote a journal entry.

Generations come and go.
A man lives his days as if he has an eternity of them in one lifetime.
What if a man gains the whole world but loses his own soul?
The pressure consumes me to be this or do that.

But what of it?
Is not who I am now enough?

"Now as they went on their way, he entered a village; and a women named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving; and then went to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38)

Many get trapped into striving for in this lifetime what can easily be taken away, in a moment. There is only one Person that can never be taken from us in this life or the next.

As Paul so eloquently stated:

"For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus or Lord." (Romans: 8: 38)

Blessed are the Poor in Spirit

This morning I was thinking heavily about something about something I really wanted to do, and feel called to do. With it came a sense of feeling overwhelmed at the prospect. The call is always there, but how to do it? This has always been the question. A gentle voice from my heart spoke: "Receive those who are poor in spirit". I smiled,  for the simple words say so much.

Devotion to the Sacred Heart

Since I was a child, I remember feeling connected to Jesus in some way. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know Him or love Him, although in my young adult years I got a bit side-tracked. In the Lord’s mercy, this period didn’t last too long.

I remember a book my grandmother gave to me when I was a child, about the lives of the saints. The story of St. Veronica always moved me. I imagined what it would have been like to wipe the face of Jesus and offer him a drink as he carried his cross. The simplicity of the act was so beautiful to me. When it came time for me to be confirmed, I chose Veronica as my confirmation name.

My other grandmother tells a story that when I was around 3 years of age, we were doing some last minute shopping as the grocery store was closing on Christmas Eve. They kept announcing throughout the store that they were getting ready to close. In my childlike thinking, I was afraid we would be locked in. My grandmother was trying to hurry. She tells me I suddenly announced, “Jesus will help us!” She says it stopped her in her tracks.

So, it makes sense that I would want to honor the Lord with a special devotion to his Sacred Heart. From my heart to his, words cannot describe how much I love him. This blog Is now officially dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

True Fulfillment

I was feeling fine this morning when I awoke. As the afternoon wore on, I sat down for a moment of contemplation and looked out the window. Suddenly, tears started to flow as the result of a certain sorrow I was feeling. I started to pray. Words came to me quite suddenly, and I felt they were important enough to write down for others who might be feeling the same. Of course, it is important to keep the below message in proper context. Many enter a life of "nothingness" out of laziness, or for other reasons they have within their means to control.

It's not like I wasn't previously aware of the message in the words that came to me, I was. There is a certain awareness of the timelessness within which a child of God lives, because we are citizens of heaven. However, making certain life decisions has not always been easy for me. And, God knows I wish I would have had more, at least, emotional support along the way.

You have not wasted your life. Better to experience “nothingness” with me, than experience a life of so called great accomplishment apart from me. You are not naked and ashamed before me. Many who believe they have had fulfilling lives will stand before Me naked and ashamed on that day, even among my own people. Do not be deceived! They will discover their focus on being fulfilled in this life, has been based on a lie. For, they sought happiness in those things that truly do not fulfill the human spirit, and were apart from the will of God. There is no true fulfillment apart from Me.

 The trend now among people in making so many important life decisions is living in the moment and obtaining immediate gratification. Important decisions made lightly and swiftly often end in situations where there is despair and loss, whether it’s six months or forty years after the choice has been made. The time they were so desperate to not slip by, has now truly been wasted.

Happiness is often fleeting, but joy of the spirit is possible even in the direst circumstances.

However, you will have sorrow and experience trouble in this life. The circumstances of each one are different. This is why you must hold one another up and pray without ceasing for your brothers and sisters. Do my children not see the burden of one is the burden of all?

If your current circumstances bring sorrow to your heart remember, it is better to sorrow with me and in me, than find a fleeting happiness apart from me.

"Worship Me"....

A recent evening I was spending time alone in prayer before going to sleep. I felt a unique (for lack of a better word) sense of God’s presence that I haven’t in a while, or perhaps never before in some aspect.

It was a sense of “knowing” God separate from our human understanding and perception. In an instant I was reminded that He is not like us. This is the reason we worship Him. It is so easy with all that is available to us in the physical realm of our faith, to fall into a place where God perhaps becomes too "familiar", and we begin to think that He is in some way like us.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, and Jesus came to us as a man….God with us for a time on earth, as He is with us now seated at the right hand of God. Although Jesus humbly submitted to God in His incarnation and experienced many of the things we do, He was always above it and never completely like us. Many things He said testified to this.

It may seem to some that I am simply stating the obvious, as to many the true meaning of worship means different things.

I am referring to that place we may go in our hearts where we abandon ourselves into His presence, and let go of anything that has to with our own perception and humanity. In doing this, we acknowledge His majesty as we fall upon that Force that shatters us into a million pieces and transforms us. 

As I began to pray that evening,…a holy presence seemed to enter the space around me and within me. And these words with such love and passion behind them came to me…....”Worship Me”. My words instantly fell away from my heart and mind and I remembered that God seeks, desires, and loves our worship. This is what we were ultimately created for…and no man can truly be at peace unless His heart is given to worship the living God.

What’s interesting is that His presence in this manner has not left me for two days now. I can be busy at work or quiet at home and it is the same. We need to have moments and times when we can get away to quiet place, but I’m realizing that a heart focused on adoring God can do it all times….in any circumstance. It’s an attitude of the heart, but it is also a gift and a privilege.

Even as people of faith, we can get caught up in searching for happiness and significance in so many ways and things outside of God’s presence. When, what we need is only one thing….and that is a heart that truly desires to know Him and love Him for who He really is. It is through this, that everything else falls into place. With an attitude of worship prevalent in our hearts we are more likely to remain vigilant, focused, humble, joyful, and able to put everything that concerns us in its proper place. And that place is at His feet and under His majesty. An attitude of worship keeps us in communion with Him. Even when we are in fear and uncertainty, we should worship Him as He is God and above all.

God is separate…He is …other…not like us. And yet, He draws us ever closer in intimacy and love when our hearts are moved to worship Him in spirit and truth. This is a great mystery I think…...it leaves me in awe.

Sympathy for Satan

I had planned on writing about something else as I stated in my last post, but that can wait for now. I wanted to share a significant recent event.

I think as a Christian, it can be a tough call at times how we handle the situations we encounter with others. I often think of the wisdom of Jesus when He said that we should be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves. Sometimes I’m good at the innocent part, but this also tends to get me into some trouble in the area of remaining shrewd and vigilant. When the shrewd part of me comes out, I worry I haven’t been compassionate enough, turned the other cheek, or prayed for my enemies as God would have me do. I have concern that perhaps I’m being judgmental, because only God can judge righteously. Only God can see the depths of another person’s heart.

There is one particular time I remember a few years ago, when someone did something to me that was quite cruel actually. It was a colleague that I worked with at the time. I of course was angry and thinking that surely this was some sort of low-life of an individual. I remember arriving home later that evening, as the Holy Spirit immediately prompted me to forgive, and to get on my knees and pray for this person. I remember so distinctly the words “You must forgive. You don’t know the burdens he carries.” And so I did. I did know some of his circumstances, and so I could understand this most certainly. However, God certainly saw and understood the whole of a situation I could never see the way He did.

I remember a letting go in my heart of the offense, and I actually sent an email eventually as a peace offering. I think this person was astounded to be quite honest. We haven’t spoken since, but the matter was left in peace and I truly wished him well and freed from his burdens.

I encountered a situation recently with a person who I believe was not being honest with me. I even believe I was perhaps warned about my involvement with this person, but didn't want to read too much into the experience at first. This has turned out to be quite a different experience than the one mentioned above. A few days after a confrontation that did not go well, I was feeling rather put off by it all, and just sad. I was already missing this person, and compassion arose in my heart toward them. Immediately the phrase, “Sympathy for the devil” became prominent within my heart and mind. And then: “You must stop having sympathy for Satan.” Whoa…I wasn’t expecting this. It certainly stopped me in my tracks.

Throughout the day, whenever I would think of this person and begin to feel badly, those words would come to me over and over again. As I was driving home from work…it happened again.

So, evidently, I’m not supposed to have any sympathy toward this person's actions. I’ll leave the reasons why to God. There are those situations that we must leave with God alone. I remember reading a blog post of a follower of this blog, in which the writer stated she felt she was told not to pray for a particular person. God has His reasons.

I don’t think this type of experience is for those people of faith who are more simple minded, and only feel comfortable with one type or kind of image of Jesus. I’ve seen this so much within Christianity over the years, in that, many are serving only an image of Jesus that brings them certain comfort or fits with their own ideals of who they want Him to be. In my experience, if you really want to know Him for who He really is, you have to check this at the door. For those who are willing to walk with Him, He is utterly amazing…and can never be put in a box.

Jesus is as shrewd as He is humble and merciful. We shouldn’t expect or demand one without the other to suit ourselves.

And again...he who has ears, listen to what the Spirit is saying.

I wasn’t expecting this in the least, but I had another dream I would like to share in reference to my previous post. I haven’t even been thinking about this topic very much recently, so I was a little surprised when I had it.

In my dream I was attending a huge outdoor gathering of thousands of Catholics. We were all seated and waiting with great expectation. The Pope was going to speak, and everyone desperately wanted to hear what he had to say. There was a sense that the outcome of this event was of great importance, and the people needed to hear something from him that would put them at ease.

Suddenly he sat in his seat, and it seemed very much like the “throne” of a king to me. His position was very high up above the people. And, he spoke about two sentences and that was it. I do not know what he said, but I remember it was of little substance and seemed to be a formality only. After speaking these two sentences, it was over. Just like that. People began to rise up out of their seats (some staggering in disbelief), and look at each other as if suddenly they had lost their foundation in life. For many, the weight was too heavy to bear. Suddenly where there was once unity, hope, and expectation, there was now confusion. People began to disperse and go in different directions. It was as if a bond was broken, a sacred bond.

The image that breaks my heart and sticks in my mind the most is that of an elderly gentlemen who was seated to the right of me and getting up out of his seat. I looked over at him…and he looked me right in the eyes. There was such pain and hurt in his eyes as he staggered out of his seat. I felt much compassion, and I hurt deeply for him. He was looking for answers, for help with a pleading in his eyes. It was as if he lost everything he believed in, in one short moment. It was gone, all over for him.

Now, I do not have an agenda or mission whatsoever to speak ill of the Catholic Church. But again, I thought it important to share what I have just written. I’ve seen a lot of different things recently, like Catholics announcing they are “proud” to be Catholic.  I find it all rather childish. I’ve also heard that many want to support the pope, or,  are asking for his resignation. I mean for goodness sake, just who and what needs defending here? Truth is truth. Let him who has ears, hear what the Spirit is saying.