Friday, December 12, 2008

The Silence & the Mystery

An image came to me once while in a time of reflection. I was in a dark room, resting on a bed in a corner. I could see the bright sunlight through the doorway outside, as people walked by going about the business of the day. I knew Someone was with me, sitting on the floor. It was Jesus. He was simply sitting on the floor next to me, watching in silence as the people walked by. No words were spoken. None had to be. There are times when no words are necessary in intimacy.

What does this image mean to me? It is deeply personal, and perhaps only completely understood by Him and I. As the people of the world continue to go about their business and move "forward", I feel at times my life has not been on the same course as many might choose or find in this life. I have had times where human nature takes over and the doubts start coming…and the fear I have actually lost years where I should have been living a “normal” life. My life is actually very simple in all outward appearance. I have days that I long for so much more. But, I have always understood the delicate nature of my spiritual walk. It is in the unseen where so much has happened. There is no worldly adulation for this….and of course that’s not the point, nor do I seek it.

A few years ago I was with a very small group of people in prayer. One woman sort of took the lead and was praying for all who were present. It was rather informal; she popped in for a quick visit and decided she would pray for everyone. She was a deeply spiritual woman, and words of encouragement came to her for all present. When she looked at me she paused for a moment as if she was studying me. She said to me, “I feel very strongly that you are a force to be contended with.” And, that was it. These words meant so much to me because I understood in my heart what was being conveyed.

I don’t write this to bring attention to myself. I write about this today because I must. What has been going on in my life recently gives me great cause to do spiritual battle and be that force that God has created or given me the grace to be.

Psalms 144: 1-7

Blessed be the LORD my strength which teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:

My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdues my people under me.

LORD, what is man, that you take knowledge of him! or the son of man, that you make account of him!

Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passes away.

Bow your heavens, O LORD, and come down: touch the mountains and they shall smoke. Cast forth lightning, and scatter them: shoot out your arrows, and destroy them.

Send your hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children;Whose mouth speaks vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

I will sing a new song to you, O God: on a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises to you.