Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Living The Mystery..

She knows only that she must go on, for he is not here, he is beyond ... nothing to be seen save the great expanse of cold, grey sea. No land in sight. She must not turn back, she cannot stand still, she must go on, must do what she cannot do for he is somewhere beyond, calling. She steps out to walk upon the waters, to go to him whom she cannot see. To do this is to be 'there' with him.

 Ruth Burrows. Guidelines For Mystical Prayer

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Unflinching Resolve



As I was on my morning journey to do what it is I have to do today, I felt a certain heaviness of heart. I determined I would continue on in silence. No music, no distractions. As I grew nearer to my destination, I started to cry. The release was inconvenient but necessary. I have been fasting in recent days, so it’s probably helping me release some pent up emotion. 

I prayed. Suddenly, an image came to me of Jesus sitting at the right hand of God. I saw the eyes of Jesus tear up, and plead with God to take the burden I carry away. God, stared straight ahead and did not flinch in His response. With the quickness of a flash of lightning it was simply, “No, she must see this through.” It wasn’t His response alone that struck me. It was what I perceived in His eyes. There was a vast, black depth beyond description. Out of this depth came sounds of laughter, sobs of agony, gentleness, precipitous cliffs of bitterness,  incinerating stares of examination, compassion, and love. And, in the midst of all of this He seemed to release a slight, not fully formed smile. God smirked in that proud, knowing way a parent might observe a child unaware; struggling with great difficulty to achieve something necessary and important.  

Later in the day, I happened to have a woman in the beginning stages of labor seated next to me.  I asked her if she needed anything. She simply replied with some disgust, “I just have to go through it!”. I was moved by her determination and resolve. I know this woman to be particularly strong, and I caught myself doing the knowing slight smile. I was proud of her momentary display of resoluteness. I was reminded once again, that God sometimes insists we go through. It seems He must know that we will give birth to something far greater if we push further into the unknown.

I don’t doubt for a second, that Jesus pleading with God on behalf of His beloved does not carry powerful weight. I sensed no dis-unity in their communication. Their intimacy is beyond description, spiraling in constant perfection. God, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  


" Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man."  Fyodor Dostoevsky

Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html
Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html
Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

What is Beneath the Ground...



There is beauty for you where no man has gone. 


There is beauty in your heart worth dying for. 


What belongs to you is beneath the ground.


This is not for those who posture. They are cowards, playing child games and building in a world of make believe. They claim desire and ownership of some ideal, but it will never come. They announce on roof tops their desires and grand plans, but are proven hollow by their actions. If they must announce at all, they are arrogant, and they disrespect Her coming and the mystery they so claim to desire. They don’t have the grounding to let Her presence slowly envelope, penetrate, and reveal. This grounding only comes at a very high price. Those who belong to social clubs will never see Her. They love what is two-dimensional. No, what is beneath the ground is not for them.

“I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.” - Friedrich Nietzsche



Thursday, August 4, 2016

Soothing vs. Penetration



As I woke this morning, these words came quite suddenly as I was reflecting on a situation in which they would apply: “You don’t want to be soothed, you want to be penetrated.” 

This statement causes me to consider how many don’t want to truly enter into the details or depth of another person. Many only want to skim or “soothe” the surface. In doing so they perhaps feel as if they have done their part. That is, what would be considered an acceptable investment. Only enough is given to keep one in the soothing person’s sphere. 

Penetration of the right sort should be stable, solid, consistent. Soothing is only temporary, fleeting, wishy washy, unpredictable. Penetration is willing to unearth where soothing only caresses the surface, upsetting nothing. Penetration is a commitment, soothing is a non-committed sweetly deceptive dessert. 

Obviously, there are different types of relationships. Not all require a certain penetration. Sometimes a momentary soothing may be the only required recourse in a particular instance. However, there are those situations where an invitation to go deeper presents itself in such a way that it cannot be denied. The end result of course depends on both of the individuals involved. 

Many times we simply can’t penetrate in love, because we have not allowed anyone to ever penetrate us. Possessing a certain emotional maturity is necessary. 

Penetration wants to know the whole person, or resolve the whole of a matter. Soothing only manipulates, deceives, and denies what could have been a beautiful unity that will never be realized. 

Imagine how lost we might feel if Jesus only continually soothed us. Unfortunately, this is what is mostly evident in American Christianity especially. One only has to momentarily consider the ever so popular ‘business that is called a ministry’ chaos. One can easily obtain a proper soothing for money.

So, we only require soothing, and are only willing to soothe others lest we go too far. We want to be coddled and comforted, but we don’t really want to change or the bear the burden of another. Our soothing crutch is the ultimate 'bauta' Venetian mask. As followers of God, our regeneration required the deepest penetration. Or quite simply, we have only been redeemed to the extent we have allowed ourselves to be penetrated and changed.