I was reading an article recently where one of my favorite singers, Lisa Gerrard, was interviewed. The interviewer asked when it was that she first realized she had a “unique” singing ability. She simply answered: “I am not unique, I am focused.” She went on to explain that her focus was a result of a desire to accomplish her God given mission, and not of any awareness of a particular uniqueness in her singing ability. This is certainly admirable. If you ask me, this is the right sort of focus.
One of my all time favorite movies, The Right Stuff, also comes to mind. Chuck Yeager, as a test pilot, never seemed to let fear get in his way as he consistently pushed the envelope in his day. If he ever was fearful it seems he didn’t show it.
I happen to be fascinated with aircraft and all things regarding flying, ever since I was a child. This has a lot to do of course with the influence of my father. He has a pilot’s license and a particular love of flying himself. I remember as a child standing next to him as we looked out an airport window watching planes take off. We looked on in silence for a bit, and then he simply said to me, “I think one of the greatest things man has ever learned to do is fly.” I would certainly agree. This is a great human accomplishment where many who lived before us forged ahead toward a seemingly impossible mission.
In my own life I have recently been trying get back a focus that I once had, and great movies certainly inspire. A type of focus and determination I was raised to believe was necessary to possess at all times. My mother actually keeps a magnet on her refrigerator that reads, “To be bored is like taking poison.” I have at times felt a tremendous amount of guilt for thinkng I'm perhaps not being focused enough. This I carry with me every day as I go on navigating my particular path. I simply feel there is not enough time to get everything done I need to do. However, I seem to at times be so easily affected by the sadness of others and the pain in the world. As I take this on, I tend to lose my focus and attention on other things.
In my spiritual life, I have at times felt incredibly weak. Realizing that one can truly do nothing without God requires an act of faith and humility that will in unison destroy any “I am a self-made man or women” mentality we have lingering about. Abiding in Him does not leave a lot of room for the false sort of ambition.
A couple of days ago as I was once again contemplating this whole idea of focus and activity versus surrender, (I understand we can do both in God, as all things are complete in God) and suddenly God felt particularly close. I sensed that His Spirit was attracted to in me, at that moment, a particular fragility contained within a severe strength that was entirely based on my faith in Him. In the same moment that I was telling myself I needed to be ever stronger, God was delighting in my fragility. How could he find this beautiful?
And then He reminded me, “My strength is perfected in your weakness.” In all the ways that we are weak, He is strong. In all the ways we are strong, He is there making us even stronger, all the while perfecting that strength into a sweet aroma for His cause and purpose.
The truth is I am incredibly focused, and herein lies the source of much frustration. I see a goal, and I want to forge ahead and accomplish it…. yesterday. This doesn’t always fit with God’s plan. My focus against all odds remains on the One who has set me free from the law of sin and death. The fragility and “weakness” I get so frustrated within myself for possessing at times serves a particular purpose. It keeps me humble, and compassionate toward the plight of others.
God is love. This is what this life is all about. If we cannot enter into the pain and suffering of others, we cannot know God.
So let us thank God for our strengths and weaknesses. For in the recesses of our greatest weakness, is the seed of a beautiful, eternal, severe strength that no one can take from us, ever.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9)
"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait I say on the Lord".(Psalm 27:14)
