The Secret Place of the Most High

I love the fact that God has a secret place. It means to me there must be something about Him that is mysterious and hidden, and not out in the open for all to see. Well, it is written that no man can see Him and live.

You could say that God is not necessarily an open book. He is not the “show business” type of god that so many make Him out to be. Despite the magnificence of creation all around us; God still chooses to remain a mystery, silent on many things we wish He would speak about, and all together entirely “other” than ourselves. Indeed He calls all men to Himself, but few are actually chosen. See, there is some mystery in this I think. And, just think for a moment how many centuries passed before Jesus was actually born, even though the promise of a coming messiah was well known. Might have part of the reason been that God was properly cautious, and didn’t reveal His heart before He was ready? Of course I’m speculating, but I wonder.

For those of us that believe in God and abide in His presence, we are hiding in this secret place. We are under the protection of the Almighty and His shadow covers us. This place is not seen by everyone, but we know as His beloved, that it exists. It is a place of refuge, a true light in the darkness. When the world around us becomes bitter to our soul and draining to our spirit, we can retreat into His presence where we may have the sweetest communion.

As I’m writing this post a memory keeps coming to my mind. I haven’t thought of this for quite some time. Perhaps there is a purpose at this time in recalling it. For me, and for any who could benefit from reading this.

When I was only fifteen or sixteen years old, I started having personal encounters or experiences where I believed and understood that the Holy Spirit was drawing me in closer, although I wouldn’t have referred to it as such at the time. At this time I also wore a charm bracelet that my aunt had started for me when I was around eight years of age.

One day, I walked down to a local Catholic shop to look at some charms to add to my bracelet, and I noticed a blue/sterling silver charm which had a dove engraved on it. I knew I had to have this charm, as it properly commemorated what was happening in my heart. I didn’t have the money for it right away so I saved my allowance until I could purchase it. I would go into the store from time to time to make sure it was still there. When I finally had the money, I remember running to the store as fast as I could. I honestly remember feeling that I couldn’t get there fast enough. No one else knew about this charm or the purchase. I wore this bracelet for many years, eventually taking all charms off except the engraved dove. I think I even had it blessed. The charm was a constant reminder to me that I had a place of refuge far from all that could ever harm or destroy. It was a reminder to me that there was One who loved me and was calling me to Himself.

Whenever I looked at this charm, I was brought back to the time when I can honestly say I first felt the Holy Spirit’s presence. I was sitting in my room in my childhood home studying, but feeling quite sad and alone at that moment. I remember looking up and out of my bedroom window, at the precise moment a very gentle, light, and refreshing breeze came into my room. The window was not even open. It happened in an instant. My first thought was not that this was Jesus or God….but that this was most surely the Holy Spirit. And, as a Catholic I already understood that all three were One. I felt a love in my heart beyond words and I silently started to cry. I just remember letting the tears flow as I began to relax in the Presence. This was such a humble and gentle Presence, but also very powerful. I honestly remember feeling all of this at once. It was an introduction and invitation at the same time it seemed.

No one knew about this experience of course, and I didn’t tell anyone for quite a long time. No one noticed my new charm on my bracelet either. But…… I was beginning to discover the Secret Place of the Most High.

Sacrifice & Restoration

A few days ago I imagined Jesus standing in front of an altar. He was passionately admonishing all those listening to remember or understand more fully the sacrifice He made for us, in assuming a human identity and giving His life for us. It was no small thing. What His decision cost Him is probably not fully understood by mankind in the slightest.

I was raised Catholic, so the image of a suffering Jesus on a cross is nothing new. Over the years one can almost become desensitized to this image.

What Jesus did for us is not an accessory we wear like a badge or an adorning piece of jewelry. His act cost Him everything, and this sacrifice was necessary for uniting mankind back to personal relationship with God. He gave His very life, and this sacrifice becomes our life if we receive it as such. In Catholic circles I have heard an individual’s acceptance of Christ’s sacrifice called a “conversion” experience. In Protestant circles one might hear the words “born again” or “saved”.

Yes, there are abuses, cultural clichés, and a lack of true understanding of what these words actually mean. But, it doesn’t take away the fact that yes, Jesus requires each of us to make the same sacrifice and share in His sufferings to become united to God for eternity. There is no other way this is accomplished. Eating His flesh and drinking His blood in the form of bread and wine should remind us of the seriousness of the covenant we have made with Him. I’m sure for many it does.

As I think back I remember the struggle and confusion in my heart regarding the decision I was about to make. I knew back then it wasn’t a light one and it would cost me everything, but also, I knew there was no other way. My confusion stemmed from the fact that I wanted truth and intimacy with God, but I didn’t want in any way to be a part of the culture I seemed suddenly surrounded with. In my thinking at the time, I felt that to accept Jesus fully was to as well accept the interpretation of others regarding His true nature. I write “fully” because I had always believed in Jesus since I was a child, but I didn’t understand the fullness of the gospel message.

I remember the exact moment where, in my heart I gave a full surrender to God. It must have been something like what Jesus felt when He submitted His will to God in the garden. I remember the emotional pain. I also remember a final letting go and that the room seemed to fill with light. I felt something supernatural was happening.

Every day I feel the sting of the sacrifice in my own life as a result of choosing to drink His cup. This comes in many ways as I am changed daily through the things I suffer. I also feel a glorious intimacy with Him and all of heaven, which could never have been realized by any other means. God can take us places we never thought possible, or more beautiful than we feel we are ever promised.

To illustrate I would like to share a dream I had once:

I was locked in one of three closets that were in the bedroom of my parents. My parents have three children. Suddenly, the door of my closet opened and I was free. As I walked out of the closet, I proceeded to walk down a long staircase just off the bedroom. When I got to the bottom of the steps I was standing in an ancient Roman garden in ruins. I could see pottery shards in the overgrown weeds that were bright blue and gold in color. I could tell just by looking at the shards that the pieces were quite beautiful at one time. There was also a fountain crumbling in the center of the garden. As I stood there looking at the scene I was completely overwhelmed. I knew I was given the job of restoring this garden, but felt helpless to do it alone. Just then, a group of people who had been standing behind me moved forward to stand next to me at my right and left side, and I knew that ultimately I wouldn’t be alone.

I knew from this dream I was being shown the beauty God wanted to ‘restore’ to my generational line. I assumed there was some sort of originally intended purpose in Him that had been lost. It certainly is not a task for the faint at heart. But, see what we can be shown if we surrender to Him? I would have never imagined such a thing without God. The sacrifice of Jesus was for the purpose of restoration, and so it is with us as well.

"Death is swallowed up in victory.
Oh death, where is your victory?
Oh, death, where is your sting?"