Showing posts with label obedience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obedience. Show all posts

Friday, July 8, 2016

Dreaming about Generational Lines; Truth & Sacrifice

A few days ago, I had a dream that startled me a bit. I suppose at this point it really shouldn’t have.

In this dream I was in a hotel room in a particular country (which this as well symbolized where I should be living or rather, the “spirit” of what I should be doing), and there was a lot of chaos going on. Initially, it was just my own simple room, but very quickly turned into a suite where men from past generations of my patriarchal line were present. They were all rushing about, very busy, getting ready for a wedding.

In addition to this, it seemed someone or something besides these deceased relatives wanted my attention. I just couldn’t get away from it all. Even some co-workers were present demanding my focus. I was trying to get ready for something myself, but couldn’t seem to find the time to prepare with all the obstacles present. My cell phone was ringing, and I received text messages reading “urgent message” more than once.

While all the commotion was going on, I suddenly looked across the room and a bunch of white goats wrapped in red ribbons came running in the main room of the suite. I knew they had all been prepared to be part of wedding photos. They started to urinate all over the carpet. I thought to myself, “How am I going to clean this entire mess up?” “I can’t stay here; I’ll have to find another place.” I was overwhelmed at how much damage was done in such a short amount of time.

I found the following on a Christian dream symbol website:

The Goat as a Christian Symbol represents oppressors, wicked men and demonic forces. The goat also symbolizes unrepentant sinners who will be separated from God on judgment day which is associated with the following Bible verse:

Matt. 25:31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.


I believe the goats to be symbolic according to the statement above (although I am not so simple minded as to immediately go there); as this quite simply is not the first time my generational line has been brought to my attention.

There is also often a sense that I have been seriously “hindered”, if you will, by forces beyond my control (in a certain sense, as it is understood Jesus gave us authority over such things), as the above statement notes as well.

So to put it bluntly, the goats have barged in and pissed all over my sanctuary. Or, THE sanctuary of the one true living God. It is this place I have strived to maintain, not perfectly of course, but it is everything to me.

Distractions. Chaos. Disobedience. I actually think I can sense the incredible stubbornness or wall that was built up in opposition to God in my generational lines. There is a tangible sense of a fierce self well and determination against the knowledge of God present.

After I surrendered my heart to Christ, I felt and began to understand as time went on the weighty decision I made. It was as if I was coming against a great darkness that of course would have in no way been possible without the sacrifice of Jesus.

I have been told on two separate occasions:

“You have been indented on the line”. (This came to me from an older women who didn’t know me, but was deeply spiritual. I believe it was a prophetic statement. )

“I have put generations of men under your feet”. (This came to me in my heart as I was cleaning one day.)

It has indeed been overwhelming at times. As noted above, I feel the weight in the spiritual realm of my particular circumstance every day. It has cost me dearly in one sense, as these sorts of things come at a very high price. Living through my current immediate family situation has brought much heartache into my life. There have been intense feelings of loneliness and isolation at times.

My sister has done some research regarding the patriarchal line of our family. A little over a year ago she traveled to visit a distant relative, and was able to see an old family homestead in another state. I assumed she asked a frank question about what sort of men were these…really. What I had been sensing all along was confirmed through this relative. Interesting.

So why has the message been brought to me again? Perhaps I have recently allowed too much distraction to get in the way of the call of Jesus. Perhaps it was meant to be a sobering reminder.

It’s not easy by any means, but I am always so touched at the Lord’s faithfulness. He continually brings us to a place where we are invited to acknowledge all the truth he wishes to reveal, if we are willing to listen. It is the truth that sets us free indeed.

God’s verdict is true and just; there is no shifting or double mindedness where He is concerned. Over the years, the message has been the same. The question is now what will I, or what will we (God and I) choose to do about it?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Waiting....

As I do share some of my spiritual experiences from time to time in this blog, there is yet another I would like to mention.

A few nights ago, I had what seemed like a vision. The last one I had was the night before I left Ireland to return to America in 2005. In the most recent one I was shown some personal things, but there is one thing in particular I would like to share. I heard the numbers 1:22 in my heart. Not knowing what time it was, I reached over to look at my cell phone, and it was exactly 1:22 in the morning. I still wasn’t sure of the significance of these numbers.

The next day, I was talking to a friend , and he shared with me that he had prayed for me the night before for some continuing peace and direction. As I shared with him about 1:22, he looked over at the open bible next to him on a table and read this:


“In all these things Job sinned not by his lips, nor spoke he any foolish thing against God.”

(Job 1:22)

I was told years ago by a deeply spiritual person who had some wisdom and maturity, that I would go through a time of severe testing in my life for the purpose and glory of God. A knowledge of or understanding of the story of Job is quite significant, in that it is one story that takes away the veil for a moment and gives us a glimpse into the perfect wisdom and knowledge of God that is at times beyond our comprehension. Job was most severely tested for the purpose and glory of God.

Job was not a perfect man, he did make mistakes and this is most definitely pointed out to him in the story. I am not perfect either obviously, and I have made foolish mistakes as I tried to navigate my spiritual walk, and I grieve over these every day.

There were times of wavering, and feeling incredibly weak. I have experienced intense confusion at times. The turmoil and confusion was beyond unbearable at times. I can relate to Job as the story tells how his friends came to him and started giving him all sorts of advice. I have gotten this too. I have been told time and time again that God is not the author of confusion. I feel a righteous indignation at times when anyone comes to me and says what is of God and what isn’t. How or who is anyone to really say who God is? Even though the veil in the temple was torn in two and we are united with God through His son in this age, I believe there is a holy distance and respect we must keep in regard to our perspective of an almighty God.

I still feel so tired at times after the testing and the waiting. God will renew all things. I am truly in awe.