Unflinching Resolve

As I was on my morning journey to do what it is I have to do today, I felt a certain heaviness of heart. I determined I would continue on in silence. No music, no distractions. As I grew nearer to my destination, I started to cry. The release was inconvenient but necessary. I have been fasting in recent days, so it’s probably helping me release some pent up emotion. 

I prayed. Suddenly, an image came to me of Jesus sitting at the right hand of God. I saw the eyes of Jesus tear up, and plead with God to take the burden I carry away. God, stared straight ahead and did not flinch in His response. With the quickness of a flash of lightning it was simply, “No, she must see this through.” It wasn’t His response alone that struck me. It was what I perceived in His eyes. There was a vast, black depth beyond description. Out of this depth came sounds of laughter, sobs of agony, gentleness, precipitous cliffs of bitterness,  incinerating stares of examination, compassion, and love. And, in the midst of all of this He seemed to release a slight, not fully formed smile. God smirked in that proud, knowing way a parent might observe a child unaware; struggling with great difficulty to achieve something necessary and important.  

Later in the day, I happened to have a woman in the beginning stages of labor seated next to me.  I asked her if she needed anything. She simply replied with some disgust, “I just have to go through it!”. I was moved by her determination and resolve. I know this woman to be particularly strong, and I caught myself doing the knowing slight smile. I was proud of her momentary display of resoluteness. I was reminded once again, that God sometimes insists we go through. It seems He must know that we will give birth to something far greater if we push further into the unknown.

I don’t doubt for a second, that Jesus pleading with God on behalf of His beloved does not carry powerful weight. I sensed no dis-unity in their communication. Their intimacy is beyond description, spiraling in constant perfection. God, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  

" Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man."  Fyodor Dostoevsky

Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html

Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html

Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/f/fyodordost161081.html