The Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding

I mentioned in my last post that I would share more of my story regarding my return to the Catholic Church.

I was raised Catholic. After being a member of a couple of small non-denominational churches, I believe that Jesus called me back to the Catholic Church. There is a beautiful little story here that I haven’t told very much. Perhaps it’s time to tell it again.

As I was starting to distance myself from a certain church group years ago, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, or where I would go. I had seen and experienced so much in this type of group in a short amount of time, that I really needed to take time and process what this was all about. My roommate at the time was attending the same church and having her own questions as well. One Sunday evening we happened to be home at the same time. We had just gotten a call from the pastor’s wife. She confronted us by questioning us each individually about what our commitment was to this church. I suppose we were a little too independent for this group, and it was starting to show. After the phone call ended, I remember a nudge came to my heart that I should get a bible and sit with my roommate and read the 23rd psalm. We did this, and it was a great comfort at the time.

Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.

In green pastures you let me graze, to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength.

You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name.

Even when I walk through a dark valley,

I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.

You set a table before me as my enemies watch;

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Only goodness and love will pursue me all the days of my life;

I will dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come.

I felt after the reading that Jesus wanted us to know He was indeed with us, and that His leading always comes through peace. I felt that the confrontation we received was not from Him. I also felt He was showing us we would each be directed individually about what we should do next.
A week later I had a dream. I know I mention my dreams quite a bit in my postings, but it does seem to be a way I am personally given direction at times.

My dream:

I was at a picnic with all of the members of the two non-denominational churches I had been a member of. We were under a shed where a long picnic table seated all who were present. A woman sitting at the head of the table called me over to her and handed me a note on a white piece of paper. She said there was a “prophetic” message for me in the note. I opened it and the note read, “Go back to the Catholic Church. Don’t be afraid.” I then looked up at the sky which was very blue, and I saw an image of God sitting on a throne, and then He suddenly changed into the likeness of the Pope, and then back again. After this, the dream ended.

How can it be any clearer than that? I was shocked in a way, as I was troubled at the image of God suddenly morphing into the likeness of the Pope. To many people this would be considered even sacrilegious. This was a big step for me, and I needed some time to ponder the image. Even though I was raised Catholic, I never understood exactly what the image seemed to convey to me.

I also had a couple of friends at the time who were making a similar journey. One had been raised Baptist, the other had been raised Catholic. Both were feeling a call to the Church in much the same the same way that I was. The three of us decided to attend Mass together one particular Sunday. We were late so we had to stand in the back of the church. I remember behind us was a huge, new, stained glass window that had just been erected in place. The priest was actually speaking about it in his sermon. He told the story of the woman who designed it, and how she received the inspiration to do so. The image on the window was of a beautiful white dove in flight. During the consecration of the host, I remember looking up behind me at this window, and suddenly what seemed like a gentle breeze flowed through the entire church. This happened as the priest lifted the communion host. My friends and I knew something extraordinary was happening. I also noticed people sitting in the pews bending forward a little and looking around as the wind blew through. Some seemed to understand exactly what was happening, and there was great joy in the room.

At the time and in my amazement, I took this as another sign that I should return to the Church.

Not long after this, this same parish was having a weekend retreat. I decided to go. In listening to the speakers I began to realize what a rich place the Catholic Church is, and that I was starting to feel at home again. The talks all seemed to be directed right at me! At one point when a certain priest was giving a talk, I remember looking up at a window. It had been raining that day. I’m not one to look for these sorts of things, and have never seen anything like it since. There was what looked very much like a butterfly formed by the raindrops on the window. I stared at it for a bit and nudged my friend who was sitting next to me. He noticed it right away and we just smiled at each other. I felt in my heart it was a time for new beginnings.

So, my roommate and I were getting settled into taking the direction we each thought was best for us. One Saturday, the pastor’s wife who called us that evening not long ago, decided to stop in for an unannounced visit. We graciously invited her in and asked her to sit down for a chat. See, we both liked her very much. She had a good heart, and she was sincere in her search and love of God. She told us she couldn’t stay long, but that she had to drop in because as she happened to be passing our house (which wasn’t very often or likely), she noticed in broad daylight a huge owl sitting on our roof. She said she had never seen anything like it. She looked at my roommate and I in amazement as if to say, “I understand now, the Lord is in this place and I should not interfere.” There was a sense of the Lord's majesty in the situation. She was the type of person to be quite sensitive to this sort of thing. She later called that evening and apologized for making incorrect assumptions about each of our personal choices.

I just so happen to love owls. I love the intensity of their eyes and everything they symbolize. In this case I took a symbolic meaning from the owl showing up on our roof that day. What stood out to me was the Lord was present with us in His Wisdom. Owls can also symbolize mystery and an ability to see things that are hidden. I also read once that owls can symbolize our search for “total truth”.